I’ve been struggling since my move to Utah with failing health, and integrating into the community has been really tough for me because of it. It’s caused a lot of spiraling and doubting if I am truly a kinkster, if I’ve ever been one, if I can get back the time that I have lost, etc. But I was talking with My house today about something unrelated, and then it hit me, and I hope maybe this hits home for some other kinksters dealing with ability difficulties or any manner of things right now causing them to take a step back.
Community is crucial to kink for me. It is paramount, but I think the importance of knowing what community means to me besides what I can physically do inside of it matters, too. And to get a little existential, let me explain more on the line that soothed me:
At the end of the day, community is more than just the munches and the play parties; we know this much. But to boil it down into even finer terms: it is ultimately the addition of positive praxis.
While physical action in community is so important, and indeed its own matter of praxis, there is so much more to it. Making sure that my actions always look fondly on the community, serving the community through my thoughts and the actions that I can take outside of it, cherishing my own personal journey even when it’s at a low point, still teaching when I can even if it has to come from a bed and on FetLife. These are all so important too, and they make up for those times where I can’t attend. Also just thinking into why I felt this way and how that did not serve any of my fellow members who couldn’t attend due to certain issues is an important lesson in serving better, and a litany against even subtle, subconscious ableism. It shouldn’t have taken my own failing health to realize this, and to those that I did not serve well if it ever happened, I issue a sincere apology. But I’m glad that even this moment in time and weakness in my own journey is offering its own teaching experience, and in practicing what I preach I felt compelled to share.
Thanks as always for the read.
Love and blood,
-L