This is not vagueposting, I just want to call attention to one thing: There is no Dominant shortage. It doesn’t exist. But scene Dominants need to trust that submissives to use their agency to be clear and concise about their desires, period, full stop.
That Dominant you’re talking to, do you know if they’re a sexual or non-sexual player? Are you clearly and strongly vocalizing things you’re looking for in play or dynamics? Are you treating them like a kink dispenser? Hell, do you know if they are even *interested in you* before discussing this?
These rules apply everywhere, from casual online RP flings to real-life dungeon and power exchange situations. I cannot tell you how many times I have personally turned down situations that become clear that they do not fill this bill, and even been stalked after clearly vocalizing disinterest.
If you want to turn your fetishes or kinks into reality, you cannot assume everyone who shares those is automatically into it in the exact same way and with the exact same desired outcome that you have. There is a time to be meek and uwu if that’s what you like, but it’s NOT during negotiation.